When I tell a story about our two-year-old and all of his cute, hilarious, smart, grumpy, and otherwise terrible two's-esque antics. Of all of the stories I tell about him (which are never in short supply), the most commented on and asked about are the ones that include his signing (using American Sign Language). I tend to hear some of the same questions from a lot of different people and lately, as his ASL and Spoken English are developing (age appropriately) at an incredible rate, I've realized just how "foreign" signing is to the "mainstreamed" community around us. I've put a lot of thought into how to address most of the questions as they arise and yesterday I decided to put my thoughts and our journey into writing. This will likely be a long blog (I'm not short winded, in the least bit, anyway, but this journey for me has been just shy of 25 years long). Below, you'll find my personal experience, our family's experience, and my professional experience relating to signing. Enjoy!
Question: Why are you teaching him Sign Language? Is there something "wrong" with him?
Answer: Nope! Our son is a typical child, at least so far! In fact, in true mother fashion, I'll argue that he's gifted (as I will argue about my nephews, nieces, younger son, siblings, and cousins). In fact, so far, he has reached or exceeded all of his developmental milestones. When he was born, however, he had an attached frenulum (medically referred to as ankyloglossia). In short, the "stringy thing" (frenulum) on the bottom of his tongue attached at the very tip of his tongue, making him "tongue-tied." My older sister, Kelli, and a couple of my cousins also were tongue-tied at birth and so this was something that was recognized right away. My mom (a dental hygienist) had the wherewithal to have Kelli's clipped around age 2 when she was put under anesthetics for a separate procedure. Kelli, to my knowledge, has never had issues with speech, but hers was clipped at a young enough age to not interfere. I do know a handful of people whose tongues were not clipped until after a few years of speech pathology were deemed ineffective. (Imagine having restrictions on how far your tongue can reach... R's, S's, Th's, and L's are pretty tough to do for some kids with ankyloglossia for this reason). Anyway, years ago, physicians stopped clipping the tongue for speech reasons (it is thought that it doesn't always play a role in speech delays) but will clip it if feeding and nutrition are being affected. Well, when you have a child who is over 10lb at birth, it is difficult, to say the least, to convince somebody you're concerned that he may be at risk for malnutrition haha. All jokes aside, we were unable to find somebody who was willing to clip his tongue. Though you can still see the adhesion of the frenulum to the tip of his tongue, it seems as though it is self-correcting via stretching. Well, being in the social services field, I could be guilty of being hypersensitive to recognizing the future problems that this could have on him (being teased for a speech impediment, mostly) and so I was not thrilled when all of my efforts were nullified and his tongue remained heart shaped. That said, I also have a few tricks up my sleeve for my second (and biggest) concern: that speech would be difficult for him and he would frustrate easily with us not being able to understand his attempts at communication. The most effective trick is that I am teaching him (and my husband) Sign Language.
Question: So you're teaching him Sign Language because he's going to have a hard time talking?
Answer: Nope, I'm teaching him Sign Language because I was going to teach it to him anyway.
Question: But aren't you afraid that teaching him Sign Language will inhibit his speech development? If he learns to sign first, why would he be motivated to learn to talk?
Answer: Learning Sign Language IS Learning to Talk. It is a method of communication. And when a child learns to communicate and learns how it feels to effectively communicate, the child naturally strives to learn more methods of communicating (verbal or physical, or both) because it is so much less frustrating than crying until somebody guesses what you want or need. Communication yields more communication. As Signing Time! co-founder, Rachel Coleman explains, learning to crawl does not keep you from learning to walk. So, learning Sign Language will not keep a person from learning Spoken (or written) English.
Question: You said you were going to teach him Sign Language before you knew he was tongue-tied. Why?
Longest Answer Ever... My own personal journey in signing:
I was first introduced to Sign Language when I was 5 years old. I went to a fine and performing arts school (Roosevelt Magnet School in Peoria, IL) and with most of the songs we learned, we learned how to sign too. We learned everything from colors, numbers, and alphabet to the Pledge of Allegiance. When I left Roosevelt, I went to a school that offered inclusion programs for children of all different abilities. There were children at school who had developmental delays and used some signs to effectively communicate needs. Because I already knew the basic signs (and then some), and because by 9 years old I had already been introduced to several children with special needs (via Easter Seals), it was second nature for me to hang out with the other kids that used signs. I learned that I was able to help my peers and helping feels good. I continued this (still today) and I credit my knowledge in signing to my interest in working with people of all abilities.
When I was 12, I applied at Easter Seals to be a junior camp counselor. By that time, I had made up my mind that I wanted to be a Physical Therapist when I grew up so that I could work with people with Cerebral Palsy, Spina Bifida, Muscular Dystrophy, and other diagnoses. I was very passionate about helping people with all different needs and was eager to spend a couple weeks of my summer doing just that. I was disappointed, to say the least, when the person from Easter Seals told me that they could not hire me to be a staff member because I was not old enough for my worker's permit. I offered to volunteer and they refused (even with letters from the teachers at school whose classes I helped in during lunch and recess). I cried and cried and just didn't understand. My mom and grandma told me to "pray about it" and so I did. A couple days before camp was to begin, I received another phone call from Easter Seals. They saw on my application that I was able to communicate using Sign Language (at the time, I only spoke English Sign Language, which is basically the exact same sentence structure as spoken English... and is not standard for an interpreter to use). The lady asked me "so you said you can sign, are you fluent?" I was honest and said "no, but I am a quick learner and I know enough to have a conversation. (in whatever 12 year old language I used)". She then told me that the interpreter who was scheduled to go to camp was sick and that none (NONE!) of the staffers knew sign language. There was one girl who was deaf and one boy who was hard of hearing who would need some extra help. I had my bags packed practically by the time I got off the phone. I became the youngest junior counselor in the history of the camp. I was READY. I had the time of my life with my 2 new friends (who were my age and 2 years younger). I played and played and learned and taught. I was not fluent when I arrived at camp, but I was proficient (and then some) when I left.
Because I had the foundation, I continued to learn via self-teaching. I bought sign language dictionaries and sought out any conversation I could have with anybody who signed. By doing this, I was able to easily gain access to other volunteer positions within the agency. When I was 15, I was placed in the "2 year old" room of children with developmental delays. This was my first (recognized) exposure to children with Autism. Every Tuesday and Thursday I "taught" (along side certified teachers, not by myself) in the "Developmental Classroom". It wasn't until I had this experience that I was able to see the remarkable progress a child with a developmental disorder can make simply by using Sign Language. Most memorably, that summer I was witness to a 2.5 year old child with autism (non-verbal when I began that summer) address his mom as "Mommmmyyyyy!!!!" for the very first time in his life. His new-found ability to speak out loud, which was rooted in our work with him and Sign Language, literally brought her to her knees and brought us all to tears. It was by far one of the most amazing experiences of my life (to date). At that point, at 15 years old, I made the decision that no matter the ability of my children (whether typical or extra needs), I would teach them sign language. 12 years later, I began doing just that.
Question: So you're fluent now?
Answer: No, again! Between high school and now, I have lost a lot of my knowledge of signs. Not to mention, I became familiar with English Sign, which again is not standard for interpreting. I had limited exposure after high school to anybody who used ASL (American Sign Language) and I kind of went about my life. Occasionally I would re-teach myself with a song or two (how I learned in the first place) but really, use it or lose it. I pick it back up really easily and am finding myself becoming more and more proficient again as I teach my husband and son.
Question: When he learns how to talk, will you stop using signs?
Answer: Again, signing is speaking. And he does know a whole lot of verbal English now. But, no. He is able to effectively communicate his wants and needs and his likes and dislikes with us with both of his languages. There are a lot more benefits to signing than learning new verbal words. He frustrates less easily than a lot of 2 year olds that I know because it doesn't take much for us to find out what's on his mind. He can tell us if he's happy, hungry, grumpy, tired, if he wants milk, juice (or shoes), cheese, music. He tells us he wants more, wants to go home, likes the stars, moon, sky, rainbow. He can name and identify all of his colors, can count so far to 14 without mistake (then he jumps around a bit), and is able to understand the relationship each of the important people in his life have to him (grandma, grandpa, mommy, daddy, cousins, brother, aunts, uncles, etc...). For a child who has a difficult time pronouncing his "L's", I'd say we've found a good fit for his own gain. But, developmentally, I also know that Sign Language can give a 3D picture to a 2D word. It aids in literacy and attention. Learning languages before age 6 is way way way easy (because our human brains are meant to do just that... learn and retain) and so why not share this language with him? One day he might meet his best friend, who happens to be deaf or hard of hearing. Or one day he might want to be in the helping and education field and won't have to struggle in learning. His fine motor skills are pretty dang good and I give some credit to his use of signing.
Question: So does he make the "funny faces" when he signs too?
Answer: I hate this question but I answer it anyway because I've finally figured out that the people who ask this were not exposed to Sign Language growing up and simply don't understand this. (Google Lydia Callis if you have no idea what I'm referring to). I never understood this question simply because until recently, it was never asked. Then somebody sent me a Lydia Callis spoof (thinking I'd find it funny, which I really didn't) and I understood that the general public was exposed recently to an up close and personal pan of an interpreter (typically interpreters on TV are on the bottom corner of the screen, but during Hurricane Sandy, she just so happened to be behind Mayor Bloomberg and the camera was in her face). So here's the
answer, I hope to myself begin to incorporate the animated facial and body expressions into my signs. I am not skilled enough yet (because often I have to think about what word goes with which sign). What this is is equivalent to our Tone of Voice in Spoken English. You can hear mood, urgency, etc... in spoken English. In Sign Language, since you can't hear it, it must be shown. If somebody were to have a conversation with me using sign language right now, they would think I am confused or tired because I have to think so hard that a confused face is all I'm guessing I'm making when I'm attempting to get through a sentence. I'm probably pretty boring to talk to (like Ben Stein's monotone voice). So, yes, if he continues with Signing, I hope that he isn't monotone like his mother! I don't know why this question bothers me like it does, maybe because it is a new question to me, but it really does.
So, there's my story behind signing and why it's right for my family. I hope it was helpful! If you have any more questions, I promise I will answer them!
